


It's What You Do to Me

by blue_pointer



Series: A Study in Gold [15]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Adventuring, Consent, Craven Edge, D&D parties, DPS Sherri, DPS Zahra, Don't copy to another site, Dread Emperor Dimension, Episode: c01e050 Best Laid Plans..., Fanboys - Freeform, First Kiss, Glorious House of Gilmore, Halloween, Healadin Kima, Just a little errand, M/M, Metallic Dragon!Gilmore, Minor Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Nemesis Surprise, Squad, Tank Gilmore, Tank Jarett, Treants, Wall of Stone, conversations in Marquesian, crossbow dysfunction, is it fair to expect empathy from a warlock?, just a little toxic masculinity, looking a little rough, tank rivalry, the return, trying to fix Vox Machina's mistakes, when your healz guilt trips you for getting fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer
Summary: The Glorious House of Gilmore sets off on their first adventure to retrieve Craven Edge from the Dread Emperor's domain.
Relationships: Shaun Gilmore & Jarett Howarth, Shaun Gilmore & Kima, Shaun Gilmore & Sherri, Shaun Gilmore & Zahra Hydris, Shaun Gilmore/Jarett Howarth, Zahra Hydris & Kima
Series: A Study in Gold [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906693
Comments: 12
Kudos: 18





	1. Times Square Can't Shine as Bright as You

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two tanks, two casters, and one healadin. Should be an easy mission, right?

The next day saw Vox Machina return to the refugee camp in the Foramere Basin. Scrying on them, Gilmore searched around for anyone he recognized with no luck. Still, the group seemed safe enough, and so he let go. These days of silence were dragging. Vax’ildan seemed to be getting on with his life with no intentions of apologizing to him. Perhaps it was time for Gilmore to do the same. Sitting in a chair by the window, he picked up his new gift from Zahra and examined it more closely. Gilmore thought of canes he’d seen Tal’Doreian gentry use in the past, novelties with blades hidden inside. This cane was not that. However, it reminded him: blades. The cursed blade that had devoured Grog’s soul; he should do something about that before it came upon another wielder. Cursed blades had a way of doing that, no matter where you tried to hide them. Gilmore spent the morning enchanting his new robe in expectation of that errand. 

When Kima came to check on him after lunch, Gilmore was standing by the window with the help of his new cane. “Well okay, Miss Thing is up and about. How are we feeling?” 

He glanced back over his shoulder at her. “Do you want to do something fun today?” 

“Fuck yes,” Kima said. “But I have to approve it first.” 

“Naturally.” Gilmore smiled back with a twinkle in his eye.

Eager to do something more active, Kima began to do stretches, warming up her muscles. “Alright, don’t keep a girl in suspense. What is it?” 

“There is a particular island in the astral sea...I need something that the children left there.”

“You mean they forgot something important?” Kima snorted, stretching her back leg while balancing her weight on the front. “Typical.”

“What’s important?” Sherri asked, coming into the room with the tea tray Gilmore had asked for. She carefully sidestepped Kima and set the tray down on Pike’s desk with just the hint of a blush to her cheeks. 

“Is that for me?” Kima grinned. “You shouldn’t have.” She walked over to help herself. “The boss here says our mighty heroes lost something important.”

“W--again?” Sherri turned to look at him.

“To be fair, it was left there on purpose. Not lost.”

“Why?” Kima’s eyes narrowed. “No, let me guess. It’s something really dangerous.”

“Well…” Gilmore had not intended to roast anyone today.

When he hesitated, Sherri came to her own conclusion. “Oh my gods, seriously?” 

“Welp. Time to go save the world again.” Kima headed to the door. “I’ll be right back with my gear.”

“Master, I can’t let you go alone!” Sherri protested. 

“I won’t be alone, my dear. I’ll have Kima.” Gilmore walked to his Teleport Circle to make some last minute adjustments. 

“No,” Sherri insisted. “I’m coming with you. Let me go get my goggles. Don’t leave without me!” she called back, running from the room.

Gilmore sighed. This was turning into an event. He moved to sit back down on the bed. “Oh, you’ve already got tea.” Zahra was in the doorway with a fresh pot. 

Gilmore waved her in. “No such thing as too much tea. And your tray has scones, I see.” 

“Indeed it does.” Placing the tray on the bed, Zahra poured herself a cup and offered the plate of goodies to Gilmore. “Oh, you’re using it!” she said, observing the cane propped against his knee. “How wonderful.” 

“It really was thoughtful of you,” Gilmore said, plucking a currant scone from the plate and taking care not to get any crumbs on his new robe. “I simply love it.” Zahra’s smile was dazzling. Then she seemed to notice Gilmore had no tea, and got up to retrieve his cup from the desk. “Thank you.” 

“I passed Sherri in on my way. She seemed to be in a rush, or I would have asked her to join us,” Zahra said, sitting down in the chair by the bed. 

“She’s afraid we’ll leave her behind,” Gilmore said. 

“Oh.” Zahra sat forward, her interest piqued. “Are we going somewhere?” 

Gilmore smiled. There was no use trying to keep it a secret at this point. “Just a little teleport errand. Of course, you’re welcome to join us.”

“That sounds marvelous,” Zahra purred, stretching. “I’ve been so bored cooped up here. Not that I don’t appreciate the gang inviting me, but I’m used to going on daily quests to hunt and kill things. By comparison, Whitestone is a bit…”

“Cold?” Gilmore offered. 

“No, I’m used to that bit.” Zahra smiled. “Is the place we’re going warmer, perchance?” 

Gilmore thought about it. “You know, I’m not sure.” 

“What is this errand?” Zahra’s eyes shone. “Are we going hunting?” 

“Nothing so interesting, I’m afraid,” Gilmore said. “Just picking up a cursed sword from another dimension.” 

“Oh.” She tilted her head. “Well that sounds interesting in another way.” 

“Don’t say that,” Gilmore joked. “Interesting always means trouble.”

Kima returned a short time later, giving the warlock a once-over. “Wait. Is she coming, too?” 

“What’s the matter, Kima?” Zahra smiled. “Do I make you nervous? I did get the killing blow on that Beholder, if you recall.” 

“No, it’s not that,” Kima said. 

Gilmore raised an eyebrow. But before he could find out more, a voice shouted from down the hall. “Don’t leave without me! I’m almost there!”

Kima looked at him. “Wait, Sherri’s coming, too?” 

“I’m here!” Sherri hit the door, panting and sweating, her goggles dangling from one wrist. 

“An all clothie party? Are you kidding? You’re all going to be dying left and right.” Kima sighed. “If I’m going to be keeping all of you alive, we need a tank.” 

Gilmore rose from the bed. “Darling, I _am_ the tank. Besides, this will just be a quick errand. I promise, you’ll all be disappointed.” 

“I heard my lord needs a tank.” Jarett walked in, wearing half plate for the first time Gilmore had ever seen, the imperial insignia emblazoned on the breast. He cut a dashing figure.

“You’re a fighter,” Kima told him. “Fighters make shitty tanks.”

Jarett stepped up so they were chest-to-stomach, glaring down at her. “And paladins are indecisive.”

“Friends, please!” Gilmore could see he needed to stop this here. “Behave yourselves, or I’m going to leave all of you behind and do this alone.”

“I’m not fighting!” Sherri said, indignant.

“Oh, but I wanted to see them spar,” Zahra said, disappointed.

“Jarett,” Gilmore said. “Kima…” 

She stood down first. “Okay, but you tell lover-boy here to keep his damn distance.”

“Nothing would please me more,” Jarett said. He walked over to take a knee in front of Gilmore. 

“Oh, Jarett,” Gilmore sighed. “Please don’t die.” Gilmore briefly touched the top of Jarett’s head before turning and casting Teleport. “Come along, everyone,” he said, stepping through with the aid of his cane. “Watch your step.” 

On the other side, the sky seemed to be a shade of sunset, though Gilmore doubted it indicated any sort of time of day. He turned to make sure everyone else made it through safely. Sherri jumped through, used to the momentary inertia experienced passing through the spell. Then Zahra followed, gracefully, holding the orbed staff he remembered from the sunken tomb, but had not seen her holding just a moment earlier. Kima and Jarett came through together, shoulder to shoulder, as though unwilling to let the other pass through first. It was a little ridiculous. Both of them stumbled a little as they came out. 

“Be nice, children,” he told them. 

“Eat a bag of dicks,” Kima told Jarett, swaggering over to stand between Gilmore and Sherri. 

_“It seems she’s only friendly when she’s drunk,”_ Jarett remarked to Gilmore in Marquesian.

“Now, now,” Gilmore chided. 

“A whole bag?” Zahra commented. “At least share with the rest of the class.”

Sherri giggled nervously. “Master Gilmore, are you sure this is where you saw it?” She glanced around the thick underbrush, yipping when a number of thorns snagged her sleeve. 

“This is where I felt it…” His attention was distracted by a particular scent. One Gilmore thought he had smelled before… “Remember, everyone,” he warned. “No one touches the sword except Kima or myself.” He squinted into the briar. It was likely the sword was right in front of them, but hidden in the brush. 

“Uh...Master Gilmore,” Sherri said softly, grabbing his sleeve. “There’s someone invisible just over that way.” She had put on her goggles, and was pointing off to the right, in the direction Gilmore had smelled the scent. He took a step forward, following his nose, only to have Jarett run over, twin blades drawn, to protect him from nothing in particular. 

“Stand down, captain,” Gilmore said gently, putting a hand on Jarett’s shoulder. “We don’t want to frighten them away.”

“Hang onto your shit, everybody,” Kima shouted from behind him. “I’m detecting undead.”

“Where?” Sherri asked, brandishing her wand. 

“Pretty much everywhere,” Kima said, casting Sacred Weapon on her hammer. 

Not a moment later, a desiccated corpse lurched out of the underbrush at Zahra, who used an Eldritch Blast to knock it back before it could bite her. “It’s a child!” she shouted in disgust.

“Fuck this!” Kima yelled, her hammer lighting up like a holy torch. 

But Gilmore was concentrating on their invisible friend. Just as the flare of the blast lit up the darkness, he saw a Dimension Door pop up. “Oh no you don’t.” He clapped his hands, Counterspelling it. 

The now-visible female figure that turned and hissed at him in fury was not one Gilmore had expected to see today. Or ever. She wore a formal ball gown of black satin, decorated with spiderwebbings of fine black lace, a familiar brooch he was sure held an extra spell or trap, and a widow’s veil which fell in elegant curtains from a black jeweled crown that held her long, dark hair up in a twist. “Lady Briarwood?” Predictably, she was holding the cursed sword. 

“You?!” she screamed in outrage. 

“Jarett, get behind me!” But even as Gilmore reached for him, Jarett obeyed without question. Knowing two of the deadly spells at her disposal, and her rotten temper, Gilmore was taking no chances; he cast Disintegrate. Unfortunately, Lady Briarwood managed to duck out of the way, his beam cutting a wide swath of green destruction through the forest behind her. 

“Why can’t you just leave us alone?” she cried. 

_“I have never seen anything like that before,”_ Jarett said. _“The goal is to get the weapon away from her, yes?”_ Using Gilmore as cover, Jarett unslung the heavy crossbow strapped across his back and took aim. A child zombie leapt up just as he was doing so, and Jarett decapitated it with his off-hand. 

“It’s not as though I came here looking for you,” Gilmore told Delilah. “Might I recommend staying dead next time?” 

He glanced back at the three ladies, who were surrounded by pathetic undead, but seemed to be handling it capably. Gilmore heard the twang of the crossbow and turned to watch the arrow go wide. “I’m sorry. This usually does not happen to me,” Jarett said, embarrassed. 

“It’s alright,” Gilmore told him. “This sort of thing happens to a lot of men.” 

“Die!” Lady Briarwood screamed at them, perhaps unamused by their comedy routine. A strange cry broke the silence of the forest beyond, and suddenly a boulder hurtled out of the darkness, right at the two men. Jarett had just enough time to dodge, but it hit Gilmore head-on, knocking him prone. 

“Gilmore!” Sherri screamed. 

“Don’t let her get away!” he shouted back. Jarett had been reaching for him, but leapt away at the order. “She may have another Dimension Door,” Gilmore told Sherri, who nodded and ran after Jarett. 

As Gilmore struggled to pry the boulder off himself with his cane, he heard a Shield spell pop, followed by the whistling hiss that preceded a Fireball exploding on impact. “Why are you trying to kill me?!” he heard Jarett shout, presumably at Sherri. 

“Sorry!” Sherri said.

Gilmore pushed the boulder off of himself just in time to see Delilah successfully cast Dimension Door and disappear. He levered himself up, hobbled over to put his arms around Jarett and then cast Fly, lifting both of them off the ground as swiftly and as high as he could go. At altitude, Gilmore glanced around the forest below for the telltale flash of purple. _“Is this revenge for all those times I picked you up?”_ Jarett asked, his voice cracking. 

_“Look for where she might have come out the other side,”_ Gilmore told him. 

_“The forest is on fire,”_ Jarett pointed out. 

_“Yes, that’s what tends to happen when you cast Fireball,”_ Gilmore said. 

Behind them, he heard Sherri scream, but Gilmore couldn’t help her now, or he risked letting Lady Briarwood escape the island. He had to trust Kima to keep the ladies alive. Gilmore began to fly in a widening circle around the area, moving out to the 500 foot mark. 

_“I think this might be romantic if I could put my arms around you,”_ Jarett said, still clutching a sword in each hand. He must have dropped his crossbow when Sherri cast Firebolt on him. 

_“J’arett, this is no time for flirting,”_ Gilmore said--and then he saw it, humanoid movement from the forest below. He descended quickly, much as he would stoop into a dive in his true form. 

_“I’m sorry!”_ Jarett shouted, flailing, terrified as they plummeted toward the ground. _“I’m sorry! Please don’t kill me!”_ So much for the element of surprise. Because Jarett’s attention was clearly elsewhere, Gilmore took the opportunity to summon his fire. No one else saw him open his mouth and breathe molten death on Lady Briarwood where she crouched among the bramblewood below.

Though the flames didn’t affect Delilah much, she didn’t seem to appreciate being set on fire, either. “Why won’t you just die?!” she screamed, casting Finger of Death on him. 

At the last moment, Gilmore caught it with his mirror ring, but he dropped Jarett in the process. “Shit!” Knowing he would not be able to safely catch Jarett with both of his swords drawn, Gilmore sent him Aid, hoping it would at least keep Jarett alive in the fall. 

Somehow Jarett managed to aim his fall and land ON Delilah, dealing blunt force damage as well as slicing into her with two blows from his scimitars. Seeing this, Gilmore cast Disintegrate again. 

Lady Briarwood was both on fire and being attacked by Jarett this time, and could not avoid the spell. The moment it hit, she let out an enraged scream and burst into a cloud of dust, leaving only her cloak, her brooch, and the sword behind. _“Are you alright?”_ Gilmore rushed to Jarett, fearful that he might have broken something in the fall. 

But it seemed Jarett was not in such bad shape after all. He dropped his blades, caught Gilmore up and swung him around with a big smile. When he set Gilmore back on his feet, Jarett planted a brief kiss on him before letting go. _“That was amazing!”_ he declared, still full of adrenaline. All around them, the forest burned merrily. 

_“We should get back to the others,”_ Gilmore said, now able to worry about the rest of the party. 

_“Are we going to fly again?”_ Jarett asked, clearly excited at the prospect. 

_“It wouldn’t be right to Teleport back home without them,”_ Gilmore said, retrieving the sword and personal objects Delilah had left behind. 

Jarett picked up his swords and cleaned them off before sheathing them. Then he flung his arms around Gilmore’s shoulders, holding him close as Gilmore cast Fly again, lifting them above the flames. _“I feel like you’re enjoying this a bit too much, J’arett,”_ he said.

_“If this is what Vox Machina feels every day, I understand why they go out adventuring.”_

_Ah, to be young,_ Gilmore thought. 

_“Though I would not wish to do this without you, Gilt D’amour. Your wizardry is fantastic! I would gladly fly around the world with you.”_

_“Even after I dropped you from 50 feet?”_ Gilmore asked. 

Jarett laughed. _“If you drop me on our enemies, yes!”_

Gilmore worried that he might have created a monster.


	2. I'm Right There If You Get Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Gilmore and Jarett are busy with Delilah, Kima, Sherri, and Zahra have their own battle to fight. When they return to Whitestone, Jarett asks to speak to Gilmore in private.

Sherri barely had time to process her master grabbing Jarett and taking flight before a boulder came hurtling toward her. She almost dodged it, but almost didn’t count for much where boulders were concerned. 

Kima immediately ran over to Sherri to Lay on Hands and pull her out from under the boulder. “I’m okay!” Sherri said, sitting up and trying in vain to smooth back her frizzy hair. “Where are those boulders coming from?”

Even working alone now, Zahra managed to finish off the last of the underaged undead. “I hear something coming this way.” 

“Zahra, quick!” Sherri stood up, gesturing for Zahra to join her and Kima. She reached into her satchel and drew out the block of granite to cast Wall of Stone, making sure there was a barrier in front of them before another boulder came hurtling in. The first 10x10 foot panel went up right in front of them, and Sherri kept going, building a stone shield that began to curve around them, bending back in the direction of the Teleport Circle so they wouldn’t be cut off from their exit.

Kima looked at her as Sherri concentrated. “Well, that’s handy. I guess as long as it’s not something that can fly…” Not two seconds into her spell, they felt and heard another large projectile smash against the panel right in front of them, but the wall held. 

“Can we see it yet?” Zahra asked. “I want to know what it is.” Before Sherri could build an embrasure in the wall, Zahra cast Fly on herself, drifting up over the top to get a look at what they were facing. “Oh, it’s a flaming...tree. It’s a treant!”

“Great!” Kima shouted up. “Throw more fire at it!” At this point the forest fire was beginning to spread, and the wall was serving as a protective barrier against that as well as the angry treant. 

“Can you see Gilmore?” Sherri shouted up at Zahra. “I’m worried! If that sorceress really was Lady Briarwood, she’s supposed to be dead!” She used her wand to cast Firebolt again, this time setting the treant properly alight.

“What, like all those children just now?” Kima asked. 

“Definitely a necromancer,” Zahra added. Now that the fire was spreading across its bark, the treant turned and ran away rather than picking up another boulder. “Oh, good show, Sherri!” Zahra said, landing back behind the wall and casting Hold Monster on the treant. They could hear it screaming just beyond the burning grove. 

Sherri winced. “Oh, do you have to? It was running away.”

“Well, we want to kill it, don’t we?” Zahra asked. 

“It was probably just attacking us because Sherri started a forest fire,” Kima said. “They’re good-aligned.”

“Oh, alright!” Zahra agreed, reluctantly letting go of it. They could feel its footfalls impact the ground and heard its screams becoming more distant. 

“I really am worried about Master Gilmore, though,” Sherri said, glancing up at the smoke billowing up from the still-spreading fire. 

“He’s probably fine,” Kima said, walking back toward the Teleport Circle. “Why don’t we wait over here in case we have to leave in a hurry?” 

“Look! There they are!” Zahra called out, pointing at two figures flying through the smoke high above. As they flew down, Sherri could see Jarett wrapped around Gilmore enthusiastically, and her master’s long braids blowing in the breeze. 

“Honestly, Sherri,” Gilmore said, landing gently. “We were hardly gone a minute and you’ve managed to set the entire forest aflame?” 

“We defeated the treant,” Zahra put in, helpful. 

“I have no doubt.” Gilmore patted Jarett’s shoulder as a reminder that he could let go now.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Kima said. “Inhaling all of this smoke isn’t good for any of us.” 

“An excellent idea,” Gilmore said, putting an arm around Sherri, who was slouching after his criticism. He gave her shoulders a little squeeze and activated the Teleportation Circle. “Come along, children.” Gilmore waved them all through ahead of him, but Kima didn’t seem to trust him to follow, grabbing Gilmore’s wrist and towing him in after her. 

As soon as they were back in Pike's room, the paladin ordered everyone to sit down (even though there weren’t enough chairs for all of them) so she could look the party over for injuries and damage. 

“Sherri’s fine now,” Kima said, assessing everyone one by one. Sherri nodded. “Zahra took no damage.” 

“Nice of you to check, darling,” Zahra said with a sexy smile. 

“You took a good amount of damage,” Kima said to Gilmore, looking at him unhappily where he sat on the bed, using his new cane to sit up straight. “And this poor man is more than half dead.” Though Jarett waved her off as though it was no big deal, he looked a little rough where he leaned against the wall for support. Kima folded her arms across her chest and glared at Gilmore. 

“Help Jarett,” Gilmore said. “I can wait.” 

Kima cast Heal on Jarett, in spite of his protests. But she multitasked while she did it, glaring at Gilmore. “‘Do you want to do something fun?’ he said. ‘It’s just a simple errand,’ he said.”

“Well, we did get the sword,” Gilmore said, pointing to the ebony scabbard at his feet. 

“Please don’t make me regret this,” Kima said, eyeing the sword dubiously. 

“I’d love to have a look at it sometime,” Zahra said. 

“Perhaps after I disenchant it,” Gilmore said, with a nervous smile. 

“Master Gilmore, what happened to Lady Briarwood?” Sherri asked. “I thought Vox Machina killed her.”

“That's an excellent question,” Gilmore said. “But she’s been taken care of now.” Again. Hopefully Delilah would have the good sense to keep to herself the next time she resurrected. 

“Well, thank goodness for that, then.” 

“It was a wonder to see,” Jarett said, eyes alight with excitement at the memory. “Your master is indeed glorious.” 

“Someone has a fanboy,” Kima remarked, grinning. 

“Really, it was nothing,” Gilmore said, humbly. 

“Who’s hungry?” Zahra said. “Shall I ask the servants to bring up dinner?”

“That sounds good,” Kima said. “Once I’m done healing goldie here, I’ll go get Allie.” 

“We’re going to need a larger table,” Gilmore said, speaking quickly before anyone could question the nickname. 

“They can bring that up, too,” Sherri said. And when Gilmore gave her a look, she added, defensive, “That’s what servants are FOR.” 

Jarett ducked his head, self-conscious. He was a vision in shining armor, his mahogany skin still aglow from the Heal spell. “I should return to the barracks.” He glanced over at Gilmore. “My lord, may I speak with you alone before I go?” 

“Of course,” Gilmore said. Jarett walked over and offered him a hand up, though Gilmore could have stood up on his own with the use of his cane. He accepted the help, feeling his injury and his back protest the physical exertions of the day. As Jarett escorted him out into the hall, Kima wolf-whistled, making Zahra laugh. Gilmore rolled his eyes at them, shutting the door once they were outside. _“Feeling better?”_ he asked Jarett. 

_“Yes.”_ Jarett looked self-conscious. _“Though I think I left my crossbow in that other world, which will be more than a week’s salary to replace.”_

 _“I’ll pay to replace it,”_ Gilmore said. _“I insist. I couldn’t have done it without you today, J’arett.”_ Jarett fidgeted with his hands, glancing down at the floor. Gilmore had never seen him so nervous. _“What’s wrong?”_

 _“Lord D’amour...I fear I must apologize. For earlier. I got carried away and kissed you without your permission.”_ He bowed his head. _“Please forgive me.”_

Gilmore smiled. Was that all? _“Think nothing of it,”_ he said. _“It seems to be the week for it, in any case.”_

Jarett looked up, then. _“On the contrary, I will always think of it. But I regret the way it happened, and the context…”_

Gilmore gave Jarett’s arm an encouraging squeeze. _“It’s alright, J’arett. Given the circumstances, it was understandable. I’m just glad you’re alright.”_

Jarett still looked awkward, but he nodded. _“Thank you, but I would fall from the sky a hundred times just to fight at your side once more.”_

This was really too much. _“I don’t think that will be necessary,”_ Gilmore told him. Then he pulled Jarett into a hug, kissing him on both cheeks before letting him go. _“Thank you, again, for your help today.”_

Jarett offered a deep bow. _“It was my honor, Gilt D’amour.”_ And he took his leave, before things got any more awkward. But why _was_ this the week everyone around Gilmore suddenly wanted to kiss him? Perhaps a look at planetary alignments was in order. 


End file.
